I've always wanted to write him a letter. I'm not sure if it's because it would provide me closure or something else. Regardless, the feeling hasn't left. I recently read an article written by a single mother directed at her absent baby daddy and it inspired me. There's no digs to be had, I no longer feel anger (most of the time) but it does sadden me. So, I'm writing this for me...
Dear Ex,
We spent countless hours together and had a roller coaster of a relationship. However, I think the good far out way the bad. This was something you would always remind me of when you wanted to "take a break" from me. You would remind me that there are more positive things in our relationship that I should focus on... well, I've done that.
You inspired me and encouraged me to start working out. This helped me lose 25 lbs and gain some ridiculous leg muscles. Those leg muscles have done me plenty of good when walking while holding my 21 lbs son and they look pretty nice, too!
You also inspired me to learn how to cook. I still can't nail breakfast like you can, but I can cook a mean chicken over pasta or a steak stir-fry. I may not put those skills to use much, but my son will benefit from them one day.
I also have a renewed love for basketball; watching and playing. We spent countless hours at the gym. You practicing free throws & 3's and me chasing down the ball and throwing it back. I won't push it on my son, but it may be something he'll get into as well. I look forward to the possibility of helping him perfect his free throws, too.
In addition, my knowledge of great, classic movies is drastically larger thanks to you. We spent so many great times on that couch or in bed watching some of the best films ever made. I look forward to sharing these classics with my son. I wouldn't know half of the titles if it wasn't for you and Pic-A-Flic, so thank you. Misery and Goodfellas will definitely be two of the movies that I'll introduce to him.
One of the biggest things you've helped me with has been learning this city. We met shortly after I moved into town and all I knew were the major roads. However, you were born and raised here so you knew pretty much every area and all of the back roads. That's something that has helped me a lot! Especially when I'm out picking up items for my son from Swap&Shops or Varagesale.
With that, you've also helped increase my ability to get out of the door as fast as possible, since neither of us are very good at time management. We were often late or just barely on time for plenty of things, and I know that won't stop with my son. I'm sure this skill will be put to the test many, many more times in the future.
Above all, you've taught me how to love, through good times and bad. You may have been annoyed by it, but I love with everything I have and can now share that with someone who knows nothing but love. My son is a lucky little dude, but I'm luckier.
Thank you for what we had and for all of the things you taught me. Thanks for the things we learned together, too. I have no anger or resentment. All I have is love, and that feeling always be there.
Love,
Michelle
